My Wolf’s Journey

As I am awaiting for the Lord to move, my wolf is desiring for some relief. I am here, like a wolf in a cage. Wanting to roam wild and free, I am to circle the opening once more. I howl to have someone hear me and cry out in my despair. I hear voices telling me that it is going to be over soon and the keys coming to my rescue.

The sound of the keys jingling is making me even more anxious. Why aren’t they getting here faster? Didn’t they hear my cry of distress? Why aren’t they running to my aid? I can still hear the keys getting closer. My anxiousness is growing. I am wanting to bite at the bars to ensure that there isn’t a faster method of getting out than awaiting for the keys. The sting from the bite reminds me of my strength or weakness.

I am pacing back and forth desiring to leave and take my pups with me. There are voices that keep reassuring that the Lord is on my side, but I haven’t seen the evidence in my prayer life. Each time I howl, my wolf feels more despair. I hear the whimper of my pups, and I become even more anxious. I hear the cages of others being opened by the keys, and I wonder where is my relief.

Man has been circling my cage. They have jabbed me from the left and the right. They have spit at us and mocked who we are. Then, there are more voices that enter, “Be still and know that He is God.”

Yet, I feel alone and restless. The more I sit the more time passes. The more I have begged the more rocks have been thrown at my wolf. My howl grows louder, “Hear my cry, Oh Lord. Save me from my pain. Embrace me into Your warmth and release me from this cage.”

-*-

I sit in the corner of my cage with my pups to keep them warm. They are growing well despite their current surroundings. Their playful demeanor helps us to temporarily escape from our demise. They nip at each other right before falling asleep. Through the night, I awaken from my lucid dreams of freedom. I dream of us in a meadow. I hear the sounds of freedom while the sun is shinning on our backs. I feel the gentle breeze of grace against my skin. My pups are playing hide and seek in the tall, grassy plains.

Then, I am awakened to the cold, dark cage. My pups seem to be having the same dream, as I see their movements in their sleep. “Hold on, just a little while longer.” There goes that sound of hope again… The fear of being in the cage has started to run my heart ragged. “How much longer will You jingle those keys in the distance.”

My wolf starts to growl at anyone that comes near her cage. She is tired of the abuse, as it is hung like a sign outside her cage. She is tired of others hanging their sign of shame. She hears the keys jingle in the distance again. “They aren’t coming to open my cage. They are using it as bait for my longing hope. They are using the sound against me. They are taunting me with the keys.”

Now, my anger is directed at the key holder. He is telling me of the freedom outside the cage. He is telling me that I can be saved. He jingles the keys to calm my nerves. All the while, he is using it against me. I can hear the other wolves slowly give up. I can hear them drop to the earth, like tears from my eyes. I turn my head to look at my pups and recite, “For as long as there is breath in my lungs, I will not give up the fight. We will be free from this cage. We will run in the meadows. We will feel the sun and breeze upon our skin. We will/shall overcome today.”

Pacing back and forth, my wolf is hungry for the truth. There is a low rumble in my chest that is starting to get louder and sound like a battle cry. “You are free.” My wolf looks at the opening of the cage, and it is still locked. “You are free.” I laugh at the obvious sight of a locked cage. The battle cry is getting loud enough for my pups to hear. “You are free.” My pups start to repeat the cry.

I looked at the locked cage and repeat, “I am Free.”

The cage shakes, and then there are double pad locks put on. I begin to start to whimper. “You at free.” I look at the locks and begin to ask, “Am I really free?” My pups chant, “I am free.”

“How are we free from those double locks?”

My pups began to scream, “I am free!”

I look at the innocence and began to wonder if they know something that I don’t know. My howl of despair leaves my chest before I could grab hold of it.

“YOU ARE FREE!”

It was defeating to my howl. It created a wave in me that I could no longer deny. The double locks broke free. The cage melted away before our eyes. My pups screamed “I AM FREE!” I looked around dazed and confused.

“Now, move! You are no longer waiting for the keys to free you of your cage. I have freed you from this watery grave. Your tears have softened the earth beneath you. And now, you are free to roam the meadows and be kissed by the sun’s warm embrace.”

I breathed deeply and thought about my choices. I thought about what to do next. I heard the keys jingling in the distance and feet shuffling to capture us again. My pups nudged me to lead the way.

“I AM FREE!”

My paws moved faster than my thoughts. My pups trailed closer behind singing, “WE ARE FREE!” Soon, the darkness was enveloped by the light. Soon, the cold was a distant memory. Now, warmth was my cloak of choice. Now we run telling others of our freedom. Freedom comes from the quieting of my ego. Freedom comes from the dance of my wolf in the meadows of grace.

Tagaris

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One of of my favorite wineries is Tagaris. Their friendly staff and amazing food speaks volumes to wine lovers. I’m not much of a wine drinker, but I still enjoy their atmosphere. On the menu for that day was avocado fries with beef sliders.

 

 

You Matter

imageWhat is your race? What is your color? Where were you born? What is your sexual orientation?

Those are some of the questions that are filled out to identify you from another human being on job applications, visits to the dentist (my fav…), doctors visits, dating websites, and more. While your name is something that your parents or some identifying agent gave you, that does not make you you. You can be called all sorts of name in and out of the book, but it does not lessen your value at all.

As a woman in today’s society, there have been many coined terms that I have been associated with. As a black person, there have been many tags that I have been linked to. In all reality, I am still human just as any other person. Any of the questions that were asked in the beginning, any of the coined terms, or linked associations does not make me any different or lesser than/more of value than the richest person down to a person that is “down on their luck.”

We, as a human race, matter. You matter! Not where you were born, or what form of body you were born into. Your existence on this earth matters. Until, we, as a society see our own worth within ourselves, we will continuously brow beat another person in order for us to “feel” some sense of importance. You don’t have to compare your life to that of another’s. They are trying just to live life just as much as you are trying. Remember your worth! Remember that you matter! I need you, just as much as you need you. We are all in this world together trying to figure out why are we here. Let me give you a hint: It wasn’t to devalue yourself or anyone else around you.

So as you go through life and it’s many fascists, your worth is of no consequence to your intelligence nor how much money, bread, dough, change you have. You are still you. What defines and determines what you are is what YOU believe about yourself. Don’t let others tag you and think, “Well, I must be what they see in me.” No, buddy! We all exist equally. Let’s start to focus on our worth inwardly without devaluing anyone else, then everyone else will be of great value to each other. Also, you will start to realize just how much YOU really matter.

Absolutely No Place